Drifting In-between

I don’t want to live anymore. But I don’t want to die either. I want to drift in the middle. Suspended between the beginning and the end. The numbness of this in-between is comforting. I feel impenetrable. Like nothing can harm my mental state. It’s not a great mental state. It’s not happy. But it’s…

Drifting

I find comfort out here. Just drifting. With the engine off, floating alone. It’s in these moments I find the comfort suicidal ideation has me seeking. The comfort of disappearing. As long as I don’t look at my phone, I’m off the grid. Nothing to do. Nowhere I have to go. For some brief moments,…

The Beast is Back

The beast is back The more you see it, the easier you are for it to find It’s nothing and everything at the same time But it’s darkness, all darkness No one has seen it It’s inside It attempts to push out your insides Making room for its infinitely expanding self Will I survive it?…

The Beast Inside Me

There is a beast that follows me At times so small you can barely see At times so big it’s all I can see At light he gives me cease At night he steals peace Thoughts run wild and free The opposite of me Thoughts strangle and hold back I just wanna sit in the…

How Did I Get Here Again?

Having a friend going through similar mental health issues has been reassuring for me on so many levels. It helps me think through my mental process, gain new perspective and keep stepping forward. Below, they have beautifully described what it’s like to fear the present. I can relate to this on so many level. I’m…