Drifting In-between

I don’t want to live anymore. But I don’t want to die either. I want to drift in the middle. Suspended between the beginning and the end. The numbness of this in-between is comforting. I feel impenetrable. Like nothing can harm my mental state. It’s not a great mental state. It’s not happy. But it’s…

Drifting

I find comfort out here. Just drifting. With the engine off, floating alone. It’s in these moments I find the comfort suicidal ideation has me seeking. The comfort of disappearing. As long as I don’t look at my phone, I’m off the grid. Nothing to do. Nowhere I have to go. For some brief moments,…

The Numbness of Depression

This depression has created a numbness in my mind. Food doesn’t taste as good, alcohol and drugs don’t feel as good, emotional pain doesn’t hurt as bad and my good and bad days feel more or less the same. I miss the highs and lows. The bad days were what made the great days feel…

The Idea of You

The idea of you. Maybe that’s all it is. Maybe I’m just not over the idea of you. In my heart, I think I know. That the you that I loved. Doesn’t exist anymore. So now I find myself left longing for the idea. Of you.

Dear Unknown Lover

Dear Unknown Lover; There are a some things you need to know before we meet. I have a tendency to love chaos, but chaos doesn’t bode well for stability in life and love. It’s burned me. Has left me rough at times. Like a bad sunburn after your mom insisted on sunscreen, I always know…

Slave to the Suit

When I entered college, I had all of these grandiose of going against the grain, visions of a career giving to the community in one way or another. Owning my own business and blazing a trail on my own terms. I didn’t know what kind of business I was going to have, but I knew…