Drifting In-between

I don’t want to live anymore. But I don’t want to die either. I want to drift in the middle. Suspended between the beginning and the end. The numbness of this in-between is comforting. I feel impenetrable. Like nothing can harm my mental state. It’s not a great mental state. It’s not happy. But it’s…

Drifting

I find comfort out here. Just drifting. With the engine off, floating alone. It’s in these moments I find the comfort suicidal ideation has me seeking. The comfort of disappearing. As long as I don’t look at my phone, I’m off the grid. Nothing to do. Nowhere I have to go. For some brief moments,…

The Idea of You

The idea of you. Maybe that’s all it is. Maybe I’m just not over the idea of you. In my heart, I think I know. That the you that I loved. Doesn’t exist anymore. So now I find myself left longing for the idea. Of you.

Dear Depression

Dear Depression, I have a confession to make – I don’t like you very much right now. Like mud on white sneakers, trying to wipe you off has made the mess worse lately. And you’ve made the bottle become more than just the fun I have always intended. You’ve turned it against me. I’ve been…